Ebikes and Two Tribes

In the sleepy hill station of Islamlar the silence is often broken only by the chirrup of the cricket, the tumble of water over stone, the plaintive call to prayer of the Imam and the rumbling groan of heavy plant struggling up Islamlar Yolu en route to the growing tally of illegal “villa”.

But now too the hills are alive with the sound of Mercedes. And BMW. And Audi. The Turks do love a German car. The only people not driving them this year are the only ones who can probably afford them; the ultra conservative euro-earning German Turks who return to holiday annually in their mother (or is this unwoke terminology?) country.

Germany has imposed a two week quarantine on those returning from travel to Turkey and killed that particular traffic stone dead for the moment.

So it is from Istanbul, Ankara, Konya, Adana, Bursa that our visitors are coming to holiday in the new go to resorts of Islamlar, Üzümlü and villages above Kalkan.

One of the more engaging aspects of my personality has always been an interest in Turkish car registration plates (plaka). I enlivened many a journey for Special K with quirky little comments like

“Oooh 16! That’s Çanakkale I think. Or is it Bursa?”

Or

“Wow! 44! Never seen a Malatya before.”

My Angel Delight was always impressed and entertained (although strangely she never said so). Everbody else, apart from one or two resident Wives and Girlfriends who have asked me not to mention it, remained uninterested.

Until now that is! Now because of the virus everybody is interested as to where people are from. Conversations like this abound

“Did you see the number of 34 plates in Migros?”

“God yes! BIM was worse. Full of 34, 35 and 06s!”

It is so ANNOYİNG! I invented the game and nobody was interested. Now everybody is on it as if it was their idea.

Sadly though the swelling number of Turkish visitors do not bring much in the way of commerce except to the aforesaid supermarkets. These are packed with holiday makers filling their baskets with produce for the barbecues. The restaurants stand empty

These Turks are very different from the largely secular, European minded Turks that I know. For the most part these are Turkey’s Other Tribe. Religious and socially conservative, they have only recently been converted to villa holidays by the burgeoning numbers of mustakil villalar.

To build a mustakil villa you find a spot with a splendid view of the sea and surrounding mountains (ESSENTİAL), pour enough concrete to entomb a nuclear power station (it is probably built on landslip), build something as modern as possible, fill it with as much bling as you can afford – fancy taps, jacuzzi etc. – then ring it around with curtains or high fencing to prevent anybody seeing you. Shame about the view but hey! Lastly place it with one of the fifty or so Turkish agencies with names like Villacim that have colonised Kalkan’s high streets and wait for the dosh to roll in.

I wonder where it is all going. Will Two Tribes Go To War? Or will everybody coexist happily? Will Kalkan’s business class gently adjust to accomodate the new alkolsüz needs of its new visitors. The pandemic has accelerated the trend towards villa holidays away from hotels and towards staycations away from international visitors. To what extent will this continue in the New Normal (Whoops! I promised Special K not to mention this!)? Watch this space.

Meanwhile at Leto Towers life goes in in its delightful way. Country Joe and the Fish have settled into their new habitat. The lilly is growing nicely although the invasive water hyacinth that I was concerned about has been eaten by the Fish.

And I have sold the Beast! Yep, my 500cc Quad Bike has passed to another mountain dweller. But with the proceeds I have bought an eBike.

My first trial was a rather ambitious one. I rode it down to swim with the Gang at Indigo Beach Club (which is suffering like everybody in this dessert of a tourist season. Go use it. It is wonderful).

The journey down was fine. I can manage this on my Trek as the only hard stretch is up from Hidden Garden to Akbel but the return trip to the magnificent acres of Leto Towers is a 10 km, gruelling 1000m climb. I would not contemplate it on the Trek. Not even with full medical support, a breakfast of Steroids and the promise of untold wealth if I made it. No way Hosé !

But E is for electric right? So I set off. Skipped Cardiac Hill and forked right to the taxi rank. Tough start but I made it. Made fairly light work of Şehitler Cd up to the traffic lights. By the time I got to Akbel I was wondering if E maybe stood for effort. Swooped downhill to Hidden Gardens. Recovery! Lovely! Come on you can do this Champ.

Ça commence! Started the pull up towards the lower Üzümlü turning. Determined to keep it at Eco or Trail level and save the battery chomping Boost setting for the real shitstorm that was coming.

By the time I reached the lower Üzümlu turning I realised that this sucker was going to be hard. I had already swum a mile anyway. Who the F**k was I kidding? I hit Boost.

The trouble with Boost is that it certainly gives you a turbo charge but then when you go back down a level it feels like you just picked up a sumo wrestler as pillion.

Grit teeth. Crack on! Reached the village and skirted around via Değirmen restaurant. Stopped for a pull of water. Called the Special and assured her I would be home today. Got back on and completed the last leg. Pretty glad to see the stately gates of Leto Towers.

En brèf I think it is brilliant. I just need to get a better perspective on it. As my Partner in Paradise delicately put it “Maybe you forgot your age!”. I love that woman.

But since recovery I have hopped on and cycled up from our place above the tombs to the top of the mountain and was barely out of breath. Today in the window between +65 Curfew and National Lockdown I am planning to ride to Baz the Builder’s in Sarıbelen for a glass of homemade cider and a dish of Jugged Roadkill (of which more next week).

The model is a Carrao Kifuka 29.5” from Can Bisyklet in Fethiye. I will post more details on FB if anybody is interested.

Stay strong. Stay safe. And most importantly judge others as ye would be judged yourself.

Şerife