The Road to Kemer

Here is the final installment of Road to Kemer (read my previous post A Way Round if you need installment one). The story so far.

As the owners of an Islamlar house, that did not exist, we succeded in getting it registered under an Imar Barışı (planning amnesty) so that it existed but could not get it entered on the TAPU deed (landslip) which just remains a village land deed. Foreigners are not allowed to hold these. So I created a Turkish company with a Turkish partner (who no longer exists) so that that I could own the field. Then as director of the company I could make an agreement to rent the house (that we own) back to Special K and me. Now we had an address, which is essential for residency.

But it is NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

For fear of stoking your anxiety, I did not tell you last week that your rental agreement (kira sözleşmesi) has to be supported by a numerataj report (numerataj raporu). I had no idea what this document was and nobody could explain it to me but I had to have it.

To get it I had to complete a form and get the Tapu for the land (you guessed it) notarised and pay some tax (vergi). Then I went to see my friends in the notary office in Kaş (I made the mistake of going to the new Kalkan one first but I really cannot bear to detail that little adventure). I impressed on Ayşe at the planning office as I handed over my little file of notarised documents that I had to have the report back before the end of next week.

“I need it for my appointment at the residency office.”

“You will get it well before then. I will call you. Do not worry.” Ayşe replied and added it to a pile.

Now when a Turkish official says “Do not worry” then that is exactly what you should do. Worry that is.

But I was punch drunk by then, so gave a weak smile and foolishly accepted her reassuring words. I went off to Dalyan with two writing friends for 4 days of rest and writing in a log cabin.

Monday Day 3 of our retreat, no news. I finally got through to Ayşe who said she would “look in to it”. Another ominous phrase.

The call, of course, did not come. And when I finally got through to Ayşe 3 days before the Friday appointment she drowned me in Turkish. But I did collect that the report would not be ready until haftaya (next week).

I was in Dalyan. It was now Tuesday. Thursday was a bank holiday. Friday loomed. I was done for. Finished. Doomed. The Mad Hatter had won….

But when the going gets tough…the tough phone a Turkish friend. Every foreigner needs a trusted  Turkish friend or two. I have several. I love them all. Without them none of us could survive here. A Turkish friend can reach the parts other nationalities do not even know exists.

I have Turkish friends who can charm, Turkish friends who can fix and one who will break your arms. This is true friendship. You are never alone with a Turkish friend; Charmers, Fixers and Bruisers, make sure you have them.

“Ayşegate” required a Charmer. I am fortunate to be friends with one of the best in the business, a fellow Mouse Island swimmer. Her husband Osman is also an excellent Fixer. I called Ilkay.

“Yes Honey.”

I gabbled my problem, in between sips, no gulps, of rakı.

“Just make her love you and please get her to do this Numerataj thingy, whatever it is. Pleeeease.”

I do not think I sounded too desperate.

Within an hour I got the call back.

“Enjoy your day. Ayşe and I are best friends. I will take the village Muhtar to visit your property this afternoon. Ayşe will do the report tomorrow. I will collect it ın the afternoon as I am going to Kaş and drop it around to Kim tomorrow afternoon.”

And she did.

Turns out the Numerataj thingy is to prove that the house on your rental agreement really exists de facto with a blue plaque on the door and utility bills.

So now Leto Towers exists on certificates, on rental agreements, on company documents and crucially the local Muhtar has agreed that it exists de facto.

The rest was plain sailing. We got our residency extended.

Here is to Turkish friends and especially to Ilkay, who saved our bacon. She is an Izmirli girl so will not mind the un-Islamic metaphor.

And here is to her friends and family, badly frightened but none of them hurt in the recent earthquake. Our sympathies to all who are affected and our local AKUT friends who helped pull five people out of the rubble on the first evening.

The Mad Hatter may run officialdom  but it is still wonderful to be here. For another two years anyway and then here we go again..